I’m happy to meet with book clubs in person if they’re close enough or by phone if they are farther away!

Public Service Quiz

What is of greater service to the American people:
a. Riding on a nuclear submarine, pretending to sink ships and wipe out major cities by firing torpedos and intercontinental ballistic missles?
b. Wiping up barf when you’re the only person with access to the paper towels and mop.
c. Riding in a Lear jet
d. Watching rich people try to ride a horse
e. Getting on C-Span wearing really expensive clothes
f. Standing in your yard wearing $19 scrubs and petting your dog

First Aid Quiz

1.  What do you do if you’re in a group when someone is electrocuted in an isolated area and one of you just sharpened your pocket knife?
2.  How do you remove a cast if it’s getting on your nerves?
3.  What happens if you sew yourself up with embroidery thread?
     a.  Should you wash the cut before sewing it up?
4.  What is the correct tool to use to remove a splinter?
5.  What do you do for a severed jugular vein?
6.  What do you do if four enemas do not seem to be working?

Medicare Coverage Quiz

1.  Does Medicare cover guillotine-related claims?
     a.  List one possible post-legal-execution-by-beheading claim.
2.  Does Medicare cover spacecraft accident-related claims?
     a.  Does Medicare cover claims related to spacecraft launching pad accidents?
     b.  Does Medicare cover claims related to weightlessness aboard spacecraft?
3.  Does Medicare cover
     a.  “Spoiled Child”
     b.  “Spring Fever”
     c.  “Quarrelsomeness”
     d.  “Clumsiness”
     e.  “Double Whammy”
4.  Does Medicare have provisions for “stubbed toe”?
5.  Does Medicare have provisions for “sore finger”?

Test Your Knowledge of Smoky Mountain Dialect

1.  What is “worshing out feet”?
2.  What is an “escape goat”?
3.  What is “the punies.”Â
4.  Extra Bonus Question:  Who had the punies?

General Questions

1.  What type of animal is named “Forrest Gump”?
2.  Why pour ice water into a sick person’s ear?
3.  If a sick person is chatting with you, should you ask them before terminating their life support?